Housewarming party draft

I started making this invitation for our housewarming party but in the end we decided we didn't want a theme. So it's a bit of a waste of wasted work time.

But Hipster Douffi (plural of doufus) are terribly amusing to all in the Turkey Cola house. And hopefully to you too, sitting there looking at your computer screen. Hopefully not peering out from behind a pair of ubiquitous wayfarers. And surely not wearing anything high waisted or acid wash (I mean what's next? Tencel?). And I know you didn't just bleach your mo' so you could look as awkward as your skinny legs in tight black jeans, so that you can sit in St Jerome's with all the other wayfaring douffi sipping obscure $12 beers and chain smoking Vogues!!!!

Well it looks like you might know a bit more about hipster douffi than we do! Perhaps you could help us fill in the blanks... what else do ironic fools wear?

n.b. if you didn't receive an invite to our housewarming and would like to come, please post a comment letting us know.